You might remembers that I was complainings the human didn’t have enough time for me before ’cause of all of her end of College stuff. Well, she finally finisheds and I never thought I would say this, but I think she’s got too much time for me now!
I thoughts it would be all nice moochings and playings, but first thing she said was: “I let your nails get too long again Jasper, I’d better cuts them.” She’s already cut them TWICE in the last two weeks ’cause she says they were too long to do all at once!
Next it was: “You’re stinkies and dirties, I’d better give you a bath.” I trieds to hide, but she just carrieds me into the bath tub ’cause she knows you should never call your doggie for bad stuff ’cause they might stop comings altogether if you do.
So now I’ve had half my toesies cut off and I’m really shampoo stinkies!
And to add insult to injuries, the human keeps tryings that smoochy stuff ’cause she says that I’m so lovely and clean and handsome and shinies now she just has to cuddles me. I says YEUCH!
Then she says I’m too fat ’cause I keep stealing the left over cat food and she put the X pen around their food so I can’t get in at all. The big meanie! I’m going to die of starvations now and it’ll be all her fault…
Now she’s sayings that she needs to bring me to the vet for my boosters ’cause it’s time.
And I even heard her muttering somethings about sorting out all my toys ’cause I have too manies and I don’t need them all. NOOOO! I needs all my toys, even the ones I never plays with anymores, ’cause they’re mine!
Someone finds that human a job quickly! I’m perfectly happies stayings with the nice older human instead, at least that human has better things to do than to annoys me.
OK, I has to admits she’s also played with me and taken me on nice walkies, so she’s not so horribles, but I got a bit upset when I heard her say that bittie about giving away my toys!