I’m just sendings you all a quick message to let you know that I finally got my own Facebook page. So I can talks to you more often, since I won’t have to chase the human to helps me write so much!
Oskar here. I’m lowering my dignity and appealing to you today in aid of my best pal Jasper, who I’ve known all my ten years of life.
He’s feeling a little bit depressed at the moment, because all his legs hurt and, to add insult to injury, the human servants have put him on a diet as he was turning into a little tub of lard on legs. He’s always been a greedy pig with no sense about when he’s full, but I digress…
He’s been asked to help with the Dogathon again this year and it’s really cheered him up, as he likes to feel useful and important. (I don’t understand it myself, as it’s a dog thing. Us cats know we are important and don’t need a job to make us feel that way!)
I don’t care so much for other dogs myself, but since Jasper and I are good pals, I am asking you kind people to help cheer him up and make his day by donating to his fundraiser.
Maybe then he’ll stop whinging about his lack of food and asking me to distract the human so he can steal my leftovers.
Feed his ego and not his waistline by donating here: https://www.idonate.ie/fundraiser/11364586_sponsor-jasper-for-the-dogathon-2017.html
It’s ten years today since I came to live with the human.
That’s a long, long time and I can hardly remembers the times before that. Just as well really, ’cause the times before I got rescueds were bad times.
I told you all the story of how I was adopteds before, so I won’t tell it again today. You can watch this nice video the human made for if you needs help rememberings my story.
The human and I have had some lovely, lovely times in the last ten years. And we’ve made lots and lots and lots of new friends in that time.
So this year, ’cause ten is a big roundy number, we had a party for my Gotcha Day. There was lovely cake for the humans, but none for me, ’cause I’m on a diet! There was even a Jasper cake, but I didn’t get to tastes that either. Would you believe that I had to make do with carrot sticks?! Outrageous I calls it!
But I had a lovely, lovely time and it was really nice to see all my nice friends.
I’m so glad that I got to be rescueds and live to be olders and happies.
Hello humans, I stands here a shadow of my former self.
You remembers the last time, the vet said I needs to be really skinnies so my legs don’t feel so ouchies anymore? Well, the human has been heartless about making sure I gets skinnies and has made the grand human heartless too!
So all my big eyes and beggings and sneakings around trying to steal the cat food is all overs, ’cause the humans just says:” Sorry Jasper, but it’s for your own good.”
You see the human got all scientific and everything about it and started counting calories and stuff. And she realiseds that I was only getting half my daily calories from my proper food! Yep, I am proud to be such a good beggar and it workeds really well for me for ages and ages, but I gots to pay the price now.
Would you believe, the human has got me my own scales and everything, just for weighings my food?!
And then she puts it in a little container every single day and that’s it. No one is alloweds to give me anything but my own food apart from one teeny, tiny treat every day, not matter how much I begs and begs.
Life is not fun at all anymores, I can tells you…
But I does admits that I am getting skinniers. I don’t feel less ouchies yet though. The human says I has to lose all of the extra weight before I feels really good.
I guess if my legs stop being so ouchies, it will all be worths it, but it is hard…
I askeds the human how long we needs to keep this up for and would you believes she said forevers?! She says if go back to the way we was going, I’ll just get fatties again and all our hard work will have been for nothings.
I don’t likes the sound of being sensibles and carefuls about eating forevers, ’cause eatings is one of my favourite pastimes you know.
It’s not even like I am really fatties, I am just a little stouts. But I am meant to be really skinnies now, whether I likes it or not…
The good news is that I lost over a Kilo alreadies and the human says I get to have a bit more food once I hits my target weights.
And hopefullies I’ll feel much better once I am lovely and skinnies!
You may have noticeds that I’m getting olders and olders. Well, the human has been getting sadder and sadder about this, ’cause they know that someday sooner rather than laters, they’re going to have to say “Bye Bye Jasper”.
Now, you and I both know that the human can’t manages without me, so I wanteds to come up with ideas to help the human once I’m not around anymore.
So I borroweds her computer and did some searchings and I found the solution.
I can clones myself!
Yes, it’s true, you can get your doggie cloneds, there are companies doing it and it only costs a little tiny bitty of monies. I even found a company that does it for a mere $50 thousand dollars: https://viagenpets.com/
Now, I realises that this new Jasper will just be me without the brains, ’cause it’s all of my experiences that made me the doggie that I am.
But if I get the human to clones me now, I can teach the new Jasper all of my wisdomes before I has to leaves the humans behind. I know that it isn’t the same as having me, but it’ll be the next best thingie.
We can call him Casper as he’ll be a cloneds Jasper, so he can’t have my name.
I know that some of you will say this is wrong, ’cause there are so many dogs lookings for homes alreadies, but none of them are super duper wonderful Jasper doggies, so they don’t counts.
The world needs a second Jasper.
Actuallies, now I think of it, the world needs a whole army of Jaspers!
Just between you and me, I got to admits I tries to like everybodies, but I hates the vets.
Not the peoples so much, ’cause they’re OK and I says hello properlies when I meet them any place but a vet practice. But I hates all of the pokings and proddings and I especially hates when they have to do operations on me.
I know, I know, they only do it to helps me, but it’s still scary and horribles and I has to stay there without the human too.
I’ve gone to the same vet for evers and evers, ever since I got adopteds, but I’ve been feeling extra ouchies latelies, so the human decideds to bring me to a new special vet who knows all about bones to see if they could help me feel a bit betters.
You see, it used to be just my back legs, but in the last few years my front legs have gotten to feel ouchier and ouchier too and now I got really bad in the last few months. Which is no fun at all!
So, the human took the day off work, which was a nice start to the day. And then I got to go in the car with the wonderfuls Geraldine human. I likes her lots and lots, ’cause she’s really nice and always brings me fun places and gives me lovely snackies. She’s my third favourite human next to my human and grand-human and I always gets excited when she comes to see me.
So she drove me and my human all the way across town to the new vet. I didn’t realise that was where we was going, so I wasn’t worrieds. And even when we got there, I didn’t realise it was a vet, I thought it was just an interesting place where we got to sit and say hello to peoples. We always did lots of stuff like that for MADRA, so I’m used to it and didn’t think it was strange or get worrieds.
So everything was fine until the new vet came out and said – “Bring Jasper in please”. I realised right away that he was a vet, ’cause, just between you and me, all vets smell funny!
I got scareds then and tried to leave, so the human had to carry me in.
But it wasn’t so bad, the vet did the usual pokings and proddings and moving my legs to see if they creaks (they does, I could have told him that for nothings!), but he was very gentle about it.
The worst bit was he decideds to take my bloods again, ’cause he wants the human to give me the anti-ouchie-inflammatory drug every single day instead of every other day and we need to make sure that my organs are still OK first. ‘Cause the human worries about giving it to me too much, ’cause it can have side effects like stomach problems and kidney damages and stuff. Which doesn’t sound nice, but I feel just fines on it and it’s better than having ouchy legs.
And would you believes, he took me into another room to take my bloods?! Away from my human! In my usual vets, the human always gets to stay with me unless they’re doing an operation, so I can tell you I was pretty worrieds! But it was OK, I’m tough so I don’t mind having bloods taken and then I got to go back to the human.
The very worst thing is that the vet said I am absolutely, definitely, not “just a little bit flabbies”, but overweights and I got to lose lots and lots and lots of weight ’cause I’ll feel much, much better if I does. He said I should ideallies be a bit underweight and the human says that means losing at least 4 KILOS! She says this time she’s going to shout at all the other humans if they gives me extra snackies and I’m not going to be alloweds any more treats at all. ‘Cause my human is really meanies about feeding me proper foods, but I sneaks in and steals the cat food and begs the bits that gets me fatters. Plus I’m not getting that much exercises any more, so I’m not burning any fattie bits off.
The vet said it was 100% most important to get the weight off if the human wants me to be more comfortables, ’cause dogs carry 65% of their weight on their front legs and the more weight I have, the more my legs will get ouchies. And if I’m a bit underweight, my arthritis will get better too.
So I think my sneaking around and beggings days are over for good…
My human is feelings a bit guilty and embarrasseds now, ’cause she’s always known I shouldn’t get fats, especially with ouchy legs. And she’s sorry now she wasn’t stricter with me and the other humans and kept telling herself that I was only a little bittie bit flabbies rather than really fat.
You see, when you lives with a few people, it’s easy for a clever doggie like me to begs off them all without the other humans realising. I know who’s the best targets for beggings at and everythings…
So, I think I’ll be starvings soon, ’cause all of the humans will refuse to feeds me if they knows I really am fatties.
So I’m not sure if I likes this new vets any better than the old vets, but I admits that I will be much happiers if my legs get betters… And the human says that’s the most important thingie, not my getting to eat snackies all day. I guess she got a point…
And at least we got to go for a nice treat after the vet, ’cause we drove out and had lunch by the sea side to make up for having such a hard mornings. The mean humans would only give me bits of salad and not the fatty stuff though – even when I trieds woofing at them…
But I did get a new teddy to makes up for having such a hard day too, so it wasn’t all bad!
The people who make these new toys calleds K9 Connectables kindly sent MADRA some of them to try out to see if the doggies would likes them. Most of the doggies at the kennels don’t know how to explain stuff properlies like I does, so I was askeds to try them out too and see what I thought.
You see, I’m a bit of an expert in activity toys, ’cause I’ve been using them for years and years.
I’ve had this super puzzle board for evers and evers and I like it lots. I’m good at it too, as you can see. I also got that new one at Christmastime, from the grand human, but that one is easy peasy and not so much fun.
The idea of activity toys is that us doggies need to use our brains as well as runnings around to be happy and not get into troubles for chewings your shoes.
I agrees, us doggies do better if we are busy, especially younger ones. But activity toys are great fun for us older doggies too, because we can’t do too much runnings anymore, but we’re still interested in doing stuff. And they says that older people and doggies who keep their mind exercised stay smarter for longers.
I plans to stay smart for a long time to come!
So I likes the idea of intelligence toys a lot. Plus they always involves treats and I loves treats!
This one comes in lots of little bitties that you can stick together in different ways. It’s made out of rubbers, but not as hard as a Kong type rubber, kind of more squishies than that.
You can stick the treats so they stick out of the holes and the doggie has to pull them out. That’s pretty easies and I likes doing that.
Or you can fills treats into the bouncy bits, which attach to each other or the sticky bit. If the treats are small enough to fall out through the holes, that is perfectly fines and fun for me.
But you can also put in big treats and expects your doggie to takes the bits apart to get to eats them. I found this bit very frustratings!
You see, I’m a careful doggie and likes to be gentle with my toys. So I can see how I coulds take them in my mouth and pulls until they comes off, but I can’t manages to do it! I tried pullings the ends, but they just didn’t moves.
So I trieds throwing the toy around in the hopes that they might comes apart if I did, but they are pretty well put togethers.
So I admits it, I starteds barking a bit in the hopes it might listen and fall apart for me!
I think if I was a bigger doggie I might manages better, maybe they will makes a small doggie version for us doggies with smaller mouths?!
Apart from that, I likeds the toy lots and I can see how you could do lots of fun stuff with it, likes stuffing it with my dinner like with a Kong.
And the bally bits all bounces nicely too. Plus the sticky bit in the middle is great for playing fetch. The human says it says on the packet that they all floats too, but I think I better not go swimming with it, ’cause I sometimes loses my toy when I’m swimming (the human says I’m too wussies, but I calls it being sensibles and not wanting to drown!) and that would be a real shame.
I thinks this toy would be especially good for Collies, ’cause they’re smart and needs to do lots of stuff and also got bigger mouths than I do!
But all kinds of doggies can have fun with this toy – even if they does end up barkings in frustration a bit!